Weekly Horoscopes

grimoire - Weekly Horoscopes
grimoire – Weekly Horoscopes

The stars have a week of emotions and surprises in store for you. Check out your weekly horoscopes for March 11 through the 16.


Searching for new genre of music Aries? The stars are suggesting trying classic rock music. Shake up your routine a little with some Lynyrd Skynyrd and Led Zeppelin. Boost your bass!


You have been investing into too many subscription boxes lately Taurus. We know the world is big scary place but there is more to life than blogging about your recent unboxing. Try Meijer or Walmart. The items there will surprise you just as much as a box.


Stop describing memes in social situations Gemini. We get it, your angry Arthur clenched fist when someone says something offensive. Just act normal instead of a real life timeline.



Reward yourself for your efforts this semester Cancer! Get yourself some ice cream and a gold sticker! You deserve it for all your hard work.


You will be feeling a little psychic this week Leo. Consider this a gift from the universe so you are aware that you should go to class. You will see visions of doing better on that test if you are present.


Compliment and spread happiness today dear Virgo and the universe will reward you! For every smile you give someone else it will be reciprocated. Make the world a little happier today.


The stars suggest quoting the Office for the rest of the week. You are now named Dwight and this is your week to pull your best knowledge of the show into your life.


Words are kinda difficult right now Scorpio. The stars know you are struggling with putting your emotions and thoughts into sentences. We suggest only communicating in emojis this week. Better yet use Bitmoji. It’s basically you reenacting the emoji in cute outfits.


Looking for a good distraction from your personal life this week Sagittarius? Take up learning a language! The stars think you should learn Portuguese. Why you might ask, because it’s unique and a good way to start a fun dinner conversation.


Drinking energy drinks and coffee at the same time is not only unhealthy but a bad decision Capricorn. We suggest drinking water and detoxing. You shouldn’t be talking that fast.


Going out on Wednesday is a bad idea this week Aquarius. Mostly because you go out every single night. We do not understand how you can afford it. Take Wednesday off from social activities and spend time with your pet fish. He misses you.


Have you been needing to start a swear jar Pisces? Start replacing swear words with strange overly large words no one knows. Like adomania or kairosclerosis. Happy googling!