Almost all students have experienced the feeling: the feeling at college where, for the first time, it is as if you are being set free …until your parents bring their anxiety to your college experience. While this is a normal “turn-red-and-hide” experience that all parents bestow upon their children, there is a fine line between showing concern and being overbearing.
Student Anthony Bear, who has worked with freshman orientation for four years, shared his experience with these over-the-top parents. “Parents are trying to take control of what’s going on. They’re taking notes and think that they have to take responsibility. Students miss out on federal aid information or what to study,” he said.
Much of the pressure of overbearing parents occurs for freshmen in University College. Parents do not want to waste time and money on unnecessary classes and want their student to graduate in four years.
Overbearing parents may, besides acting like they are the ones in college, cause students to let their parents take the responsibility. “Nine of the ten overbearing parents we see are just worried,” said Bear.
Josh Hilgefort, a graduate Student Affairs student, works both orientation and in Raider Connect. In regard to his experience with parents in Raider Connect, Hilgefort said, “We see parents asking all the questions. Financial aid is where we see most of the hovering.”
Indeed, these hovering, or “Helicopter’”parents, are often more concerned with financial aid than their students, as it is often their money and thousands of dollars are at stake.
Maggie McDougle, a nursing student, has had similar experiences with “Helicopter” parents when helping introduce new students to the nursing program. “Students don’t know what to ask, and parents are more knowledgeable to a certain extent,” she said.
For McDougle, many of the parents tried to take over asking questions about nursing, as it is a more selective program. “Students either couldn’t or didn’t feel comfortable asking questions,” she said.
While the issue of overbearing parents is one that makes many students cringe, it is not an issue that is always bad. Some students require more direction and parental support than others, and it is difficult for parents to let go and allow their child to make their own decisions in college.
However, students should remember that, whether you are picking an academic program or working through financial aid opportunities, this is your college experience, not your parents’. As Anthony Bear said, “It’s time to cut the umbilical cord.”
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