Aries (3/21-4/19)
On Friday you'll encounter a stranger with a secret, Aries. Instead of shrugging off the mystery, jump into this stranger's life by asking personal life questions over a cup of steaming coffee. You'll be surprised what you hear, and how it will effect you. Your lucky bread brand is: Wonder.
Taurus (4/20-5/20)
Simmer down and cut the crap, Taurus, because no one wants to hear your whining anymore. Your friends are sick of your negative attitude. Turn over a new leaf by taking some time to yourself and reflecting on the good things in your life. Next, take a visit to a local animal shelter. The animals will remind you that your life is not so bad after all. Your lucky conversation topic is: Kale.
Gemini (5/21-6/20)
Wash your hands a lot this week, Gemini, because a super virus could be clinging to the next surface you touch. Getting a good scrub-a-dub-dub could be the difference between finishing the semester strong and finishing the semester from beneath the covers of your sick bed. Your lucky conversation topic is: Oscar nominations.
Cancer (6/21-7/22)
Apprehend the villain that doesn't wash their hands after using the toilet, Cancer. Give them the 4-1-1 on their nasty habits and block the door until they wash their grubby digits. Your bravery could result in less-nasty bathrooms at WSU. Your lucky conversation topic is: Gangrene.
Leo (7/23-8/22)
It's getting warmer outside, Leo, which means seasonal allergies are underway. Do not - DO NOT- make fun of your roommate's sneeze, as this could upset them and drive them to incredible lengths of revenge. Your lucky sea animal is: Seahorse.
Virgo ((8/23-9/22)
Get dirty and read a romance novel this week, Virgo. The sultry glances and hidden touches within the pages could spur you to action with your crush. If an Arthurian knight with the tortured past can win the girl, so can you. Your lucky item is: Chopsticks.
Libra (9/23-10/21)
Get ready to rumble! Some serious indigestion is in your future, Libra, and it's not looking pretty. By Saturday night, you will be so bloated you won't be able to leave the stall, toilet, bush, or wherever you find yourself when the moment hits. Your lucky conversation topic is: Fiber.
Scorpio (10/22-11/21)
Love is in the air for you, Scorpio, which means you better put your best foot forward by ditching the sneakers and wearing clean Oxfords or ballet flats instead. The love of your life will not notice your face, personality, hands, shoulders, butt, boobs, or calves first--but your feet. Yes, your feet. Your lucky conversation topic is: DSW discounts.
Sagittarius (11/22-12/21)
Not checking your e-mail has gotten you into trouble in the past, Sagittarius. Don't repeat you past mistakes, because an ultra-important message is headed through cyberspace to your inbox this weekend. Check your e-mail hourly until you receive it, no excuses. Your new favorite president is: Pierce.
Capricorn (12/22-1/19)
Saddle up and get ready to ride, because there's a new stallion in town, and he's sitting near you right now. He may not look like relationship material, but trust me, he is. This ranch hand is ready to rock your world, and all it takes is a tap on the shoulder and a smooth, "Hey cowboy." Mention us at the wedding. Your lucky conversation topic is: HGTV's "Fixer Upper."
Aquarius (1/20-2/18)
Tired of responsibility? Us too! Ditch your commitments by skipping your classes and driving to Florida! Send us a postcard when you arrive, and we'll tape it to the wall in our office. Your lucky brand is: Vineyard Vines.
Pisces (2/19-3/20)
Singing "Edelweiss" never landed you a date before, but that's about to change. Keep this Von Trapp family staple in your back pocket because the moment will soon arrive that you're on a hike and you will stumble upon a nun or monk in a high mountain field. The sweet, sweet lyrics of "Edelweiss" will lure them into your arms, and together the two of you will "bloom and grow forever." Your lucky conversation is: Breaking alcohol addictions.
