Aries: Polka dots are your lucky pattern for the week, Aries! Nothing can stop you when you’re wearing polka dots. Get a good great on an exam, meet the love of your life, or get to the on campus Starbucks with no line.
Taurus: A trampoline will have the ability to predict your future this week, Taurus. The amount of back flips will predict how many times you will find a lucky penny while walking to class.
Gemini: Carry around an orange highlighter at all times, Gemini. It will ward off evil spirits, and could possibly come in handy when in class if something of importance happens to arise. Or a self-defense weapon, who knows.
Cancer: Looks like your inner bookworm will come out to play this week, Cancer! Hunkering down in a library for a few hours may be the best way to read as many books as possible. Please avoid the Twilight series for your sanity.
Leo: It looks like you may have developed an addiction to sticky notes, Leo. Hate to break it to you, but no amount of colorful sticky paper will make your life perfectly organized. Put down the sticky notes, you won’t regret it.
Virgo: A mysterious Siamese cat with a white shawl will appear into your life, Virgo. This is a very special sign. But it is up to you to decide what this means. The cat’s piercing blue eyes will bring you clarity.
Libra: You must become the ultimate doodle master, Libra. To do this, you must draw on every white board in the Medical Sciences building. You must show the world your commitment. Happy drawing!
Scorpio: This week should be an adventure for you, Scorpio. Build a fort completely out of pool noodles of all different colors. Make sure there are plenty of popsicles and a “No Grownups Allowed” sign. You’ll be safe from adulting for a little bit.
Sagittarius: Be wary, Sagittarius. Your enemy has constructed a voodoo doll of you. Freaked out? You should be. To stop them, make sure you find your enemy and apologize for what you did before it gets out of hand.
Capricorn: Love is in the air for you this week, Capricorn! You will spot this special someone at the bookstore, in the history section. In the presence of hold history you two will create more history of your own.
Aquarius: The color salmon will be of great significance to you this week, Aquarius. To be safe, wear as much salmon colored clothing as you can. Or eat plenty of salmon. Or just think about salmon. The more salmon the better.
Pisces: Luck seems to be on your side this week, Pisces. So lucky, in fact, that you can test fate by eating gas station sushi, with no negative consequences. That’s real luck right there.
