Aries: Life will throw some challenges at you this week, Aries. There’s a pretty good chance that you’ll have an insane craving for Chickfila. On a Sunday. That’s what nightmares are made of. Good luck making it to Monday.
Taurus: Unrequited love can be a challenging thing to deal with, Taurus. But don’t worry, it’ll work out eventually. Maybe if you stare at them long enough whenever they walk into a room, they’ll change their mind. Or file a restraining order.
Gemini: Embracing your fears can help you reach new heights, Gemini. Live your life on the edge, get out your comfort zone. Like ordering something in a restaurant without rehearsing it in your head first. That takes a lot of courage.
Cancer: The stars see that you have been battling with a drug addiction this week, Cancer. With your gummy daily multivitamins. The bottle clearly says to take two, not six. Multiple times a day. We think it’s time you seek the help that you need.
Leo: Changing up the scenery you normally work in can inspire some new ideas, Leo. It can be as simple as sitting at a new table at your local coffee shop, or deciding to work on another couch. It’s necessary to keep your brain on its toes.
Virgo: Wearing a Fitbit doesn’t automatically make you fit, Virgo. We know, it’s pretty much false advertising. But no worries, just try doing some light exercises. Like a few extra walks to the fridge. You can eat more, but burn off the calories.
Libra: Knowing your spirit animal is vital information, Libra. Knowing this can give you the ability to make excuses in life. Spirit animal is a giraffe? That’s why you don’t like crowds. Spirit animal is a cat? That’s why you don’t like to talk to people. Simple, yet effective.
Scorpio: Looks like you have some bad habits that you need to break, Scorpio. Like walking into fast food restaurants five minutes before they close and placing large orders. That is a quick way to accumulate a long list of enemies.
Sagittarius: Just because you can doesn’t mean you should, Sagittarius. You may have the ability to eat 15 tacos in five minutes, but is it really worth it in the end? If it is, then go for it. Do your thing.
Capricorn: Finding a new hobby is always a great way to keep you entertained when you find yourself bored, Capricorn. Like doing portraits of your fish in oil paints. It takes skill to get the gills just right, and the angle of the eyes.
Aquarius: There is more to life than material possessions, Aquarius. It has the ability to cloud the mind from being its true self. Step into the world of minimalism for the week to see how it changes your life. Don’t worry, you can still shower.
Pisces: Zoning out can be dangerous if not done in the proper environment, Pisces. Zoning out in class? Not recommended, but fine. Zoning out while mowing the lawn? Watch your step! With great power, comes great responsibility.
