The Movies | Graphic by Monica Brutto | The Wright State Guardian
Bad movies often become fun moments that become ingrained in pop culture. This could be because it is a movie filled with unintentional comedy, or maybe it is filled with over-the-top action sequences and painfully awkward dialogue. Here is a list of five movies that are so good at being bad.
5. “Timecop”
Jean-Claude Van Damme stars as Max Walker in this 1994 sci-fi action thriller set in the future of 2004. Van Damme, also known as the Muscles from Brussels, has a mixed martial arts background, which is a staple of all the actor’s films.
The dialogue is cheesy with time travel puns scattered throughout. There are over-the-top action sequences, such as when Walker jumps on the kitchen counter and holds the splits for 10 seconds. Must have been in Van Damme’s contract. Ron Silver plays the typical 80s and 90s supervillain trying to take down Walker and the future police. There are also great fashion choices of what an imagined 2004 will look like.
4. “Hercules in New York”
While not as well-known as the other movies on this list, “Hercules in New York” stars Arnold Schwarzenegger as the son of Zeus in this 1969 classic.
Where to start? Schwarzenegger was 22-years-old at the time of this film. In the original version of the movie, the action stars’ voice is dubbed with a British accent. Zeus banishes Hercules to New York and gets into adventures in the city. The crème de la crème of this film is when Hercules fights a bear. Accompanied by cheesy Italian background music, Hercules fights what is clearly a man in a bear suit that must be seen. It is perhaps the finest 90 seconds of film ever made.
3. “Road House”
Patrick Swayze had one of the great five-year runs in movie history in the late 80s and early 90s. Swayze starred in “Dirty Dancing” (1987), “Ghost” (1990) and “Point Break” (1991). While those movies are all impressive, nothing quite compares to the cinematic masterpiece “Road House” (1989).
Swayze plays John Dalton, the best bouncer in the business, trying to clean up the Double Deuce, a dive bar in Jasper, Missouri. While trying to clean up the bar and the town, Dalton comes up against Brad Wesley, the villainous business tycoon of the town. Dalton uses philosophical phrases, such as “Be nice until it’s time to not be nice,” and “Pain don’t hurt,” to help train the staff of the Double Deuce. The movie is filled with countless bar fights, big 80s hair, homoeroticism and a giant monster truck.
2 & 1. The Summer of Cage
There may be no person living or dead to contribute to watchable terrible movies more than Nicolas Cage. As an actor, Cage never shied away from taking projects that others might turn down. In 1995, Cage won the Academy Award for “Leaving Las Vegas.” On June 6, 1997, “Con Air” debuted in theaters, and three weeks later, “Face/Off” followed, cementing 1997 as The Summer of Cage.
The 90s was a time of excess for movies. Hollywood produced big budget movies with long, dramatic action sequences, and audiences ate it up. Jerry Bruckheimer, producer of other 90s action classics, such as “Armageddon” and “The Rock,” oversaw the production of “Con Air.” The premise: What if convicts take over a plane and only one man, Cameron Poe (Cage), can stop it? The lines are cheesy, the plot is unbelievable and the action sequences are extremely dramatic.
Poe sports long, flowing hair and speaks in a weird southern accent. There is some sort of sub-plot surrounding a stuffed bunny. Oh, and John Malkovich does what John Malkovich does.
Three weeks later, “Face Off” hit theaters, and the filmmaker once again asked audiences to suspend their disbelief with the question “What if Nicolas Cage and John Travolta switched faces?” John Woo, the director of “Face Off,” attempted to one-up the action that “Con Air” provided.
In this movie, there is a slow-motion fight on a plane, a slow-motion fight on a boat and a slow-motion fight in a church with a bunch of doves. After Castor Troy (Cage) and Sean Archer (Travolta) switch faces, audiences get confused about who they are supposed to root for. Eventually, the good guy who looks like the bad guy kills the bad guy who looks like the good guy and the faces switch back.
While both these movies are cinematic gold for awesomely dated movies, “Con Air” just squeaks by “Face/Off” for the number one spot.
