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Weekly Horoscopes


What you want for the holidays based on your zodiac sign… however impossible it may be. 

ARIES

Anything but socks. Just not socks.

TAURUS

Peace and quiet and a civil family dinner. 

GEMINI

Money, you are very deep in debt this year. 

CANCER

A new puppy, because you can never go wrong with a puppy… unless you’re a cat person. 

LEO

Friends

VIRGO

My two front teeth

LIBRA

Motivation

SCORPIO

A will to live 

SAGITTARIUS

To win the lottery

CAPRICORN

A robot to do all of your homework for you

AQUARIUS

A genie and unlimited wishes

PISCES

Unlimited access to all you can eat pancake bar


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